do i need to be reduced to an animal crawling on the ground like nebuchadnezzar before i grab a knife and fork and swallow my pride whole

Sunshine and lollipops :

One of my female friends told me she doesn’t want to have a relationship with me because I have mental health issues .

I cant hate her for being honest although I think she would have been better choosing to keep her opinion to herself .

Just because someone has mental health issues doesn’t mean you cant have a wonderful relationship with them.

You don’t have to spend your life playing a mother or carer like role .

I get why having a relationship with me would be shoved into the too hard basket for plenty of ladies in the world .
loving someone with mental health issues requires a whole lot of patience and understanding .

Most people don’t want to have to work extra hard to preserve a relationship.

All relationships involve battles but having a relationship with someone with mental health issues requires more struggle than your average relationship.

Its definitely easier to have a relationship with someone if you share the same faith as them .

If you have religious beliefs in common you are able to use the things that tie your hearts together to build on the bond that already exists between you because of your shared love for the same religious ideas and concepts .

If you are in a relationship with someone and they are continually interrupting you and contradicting what you say it makes life difficult.

If you love someone and they never stop tearing you down or they fail to appreciate the little things you do for them to show you love them it can be hard to deal with .

If you are with someone who continually flies into fits of jealousy whenever you look at a member of the opposite sex or chat to them or if you love someone who tries to control what you wear or who forces you to veil your face or only spend a certain amount of hours out of the house or someone who controls your spending and takes charge regarding who you can and cant be friends with and where you go and whether or not you are employed it can make waking up seem like a chore youd rather not endure and long for death .

If there are certain topics you have to avoid around the one you love if you are continually made to feel like scum and are treading on thin ice and walking on eggshells around them you may question the value of your existence or whether your relationship is worth holding onto or better off dropping like a weathered old stone dropped into a roaring blue ocean .

If you feel like you can never be yourself around someone you love and care about more than anything else in the world if you are continually pressured to perform and put on a happy face around them when you want to cry your eyes out it can cause you to shy away from them and clam up when theyre around .

You may wish to discourage them from furthering a conversation with you by making sure you don’t ask them any follow up questions or display any interest in what they are telling you so they quit trying to get a reaction out of you.

This can be difficult when they are goading you when they are mocking you or your friends or your way of viewing the world .

It may be necessary for you to leave a relationship for your own mental sanity and spiritual wellbeing.

If this is a move you are considering please seek counselling first and try to gently pressure your partner into also looking for help.

Sometimes our partners act a certain way because they’ve never been told that what they are doing or saying is wrong or may be perceived as intimidating or hostile to others raised in a different environment or culture to them.

When you are involved in a multicultural relationship it may be necessary to make sacrifices to learn when you have to compromise and value the culture of your partner more than you do your own.

You may find it necessary to change the way you talk to your partner.

If they associate a raised voice with anger you may be wise to write down your thoughts rather than have them connect what you are saying to a past experience of fearing for their life or boiling with anger while they watch their parents lay into each other or shout the house down.

Your partner may be a minimalist and you may be the opposite .

Perhaps your partner likes to talk their heads off and you are one of those people that has difficulty working out how to articulate how they feel or you prefer to do so in as few words as possible instead of doing it at length .

There is as much strength in sharing your thoughts at length as there is in short bursts.

It is a stereotype that women like to talk more than men.

Generally speaking men use less words at a time whereas women tend to cram most of their daily portion of words into one big burst of alphabet soup gushing out their gobs like an active volcano .

There are always exceptions to every rule .

My parents come from an era where young kids were discouraged from speaking their mind.

Consequently they may have had to fight the voice inside their heads that tells them no one wants to hear what they have to say or what they have to say is inappropriate or not valued .

I was raised to take pride in my words and also to use tact and diplomacy which I often fail to apply because I tend to speak first and then later question whether I could have said what I said better than how I said it.

Some of us are more cautious in who we shoot with our guns than what we choose to blow out of our mouths .

I aim to use my tongue wisely instead of foolishly.

How about you?

❤ selah